Long Summer

April 9, 2010

Wake up to find out that you are the eyes of the world

Filed under: about,Blog — by dbmamaz @ 7:02 pm
Tags:

Wake now, discover that you are the song that the morning brings

These are two lines from the chorus of one of my favorite grateful dead songs, Eyes of the World. The lyrics of the song are poetic but vague, but I know what this song always made me feel. The music kept me moving, the song kept me singing, and the feeling in my heart, as I skipped and spun and belted out the words, was a joyful reminder.

“You are the eyes of the world.”  To me, this says that whatever we see and believe, becomes our reality. So be careful how you look at the world.  Your vision creates it.

“Wake now, discover that you are the song that the morning brings.” That said to me, again, shift your awareness. Learn that you are beautiful . . .what is more beautiful than the song that the morning brings? (I was, after all, a morning person!)  This is a reminder that every time you wake up, there is a new, beautiful beginning

I have been feeling very down for the past month, which is why I havent blogged at all. I’ve been struggling to get anything done at all, and certainly putting meaningful words to (virtual) paper has been the last thing on my mind. When things go wrong, as they often do around here, I get stuck in a negative view of myself and my life and the world. The lowest points are where I curse myself for having had children, because I am an unworthy mother who is incapable of giving them what they truly need. I feel the weight of three lives on my shoulders, and I am sure I am failing them.

Wake up, discover that you are the song that the morning brings. If i can remember the beauty and magic in myself, in my life, I can get through this trial of parenting three kids, at least 2 of which are emotionally disabled. I need to stop living in the world where I compare myself (and my children) negatively to everything and everyone around me, and remember those days in my youth when i danced barefoot in the grass and sung to the sun and believed in happy endings. I need to find my joy.

and maybe even manage to write about something.

Advertisements

3 Comments »

  1. We go through those same ebbs and flows. The important thing is not that we are perfect parents with perfect children, but rather we are doing the best we can. Remember don’t sweat the small stuff and celebrate every victory. And if a song makes you feel better, I say play it over and over and over and…..

    Hope you get to feeling better soon!

    Comment by mama23monkeys — April 10, 2010 @ 7:07 am |Reply

    • thanks . . .listening to the music (plus) linked on your blog right now!

      Comment by dbmamaz — April 10, 2010 @ 10:06 am |Reply

  2. This is a beautiful piece. When you say you need to write “something” you just did. I’m going to have to go find that song now as the lines are so deep and meaningful. I like your mothering piece too. No one warned us how hard and tedious it can be! Thanks for sharing your “song” with us…we all have a song to play, and some days are harder than others to find it.

    Comment by J. Lorraine Martin — June 16, 2010 @ 7:38 am |Reply


RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URI

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: